12A - 130mins - Adventure/Drama/Fantasy - 15th July 2011
So 14 years after the adventure first began it is finally over and we wave goodbye to the world of Harry Potter and Co. I would be lying if I personally thought that was the case- I would not be surprised to see Rowling bring back some of the characters in one shape or another in the coming years. I recently watched the previous 7 films in a marathon effort so to see mini reviews for all of them check out my article here.
Hopefully everyone is aware of the storyline by now but for the nomads amongst us the eighth and final installment sees Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) along with his friends take on the evil wizard Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes). In order to give themselves a fighting chance they have to hunt down the remaining Horcruxes before Harry can square up against him for the last time.
WOW. Where to begin with this one. This is without a doubt the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life bar none and I've seen a lot of crap. Let me just set the scene before I even move onto the, ahem, 'plot'. This review has spoilers in it but unlike most films, knowing what happens won't affect your enjoyment of it.
Troll 2 ahh the sequel to Troll 1 I hear you say? Nope, of course not. The distributors, concerned with the ability for the success of the film (and rightly so) renamed it to try and link it to a successful film, Troll, released 4 years prior. Along with that the artwork cover above was designed by someone who had seen neither of the films and as a result everything see on it has absolutely no relation to anything that happens... I mean he's drawn a werewolf for Christ's sake and that's not even the same kid.
Troll 2 was the brainchild of Claudio Fragasso who co-wrote it with his wife both of whom were native Italians not well versed in the language of English. In fact they spoke no English, hired an Italian film crew to do their bidding and to save from any confusion brought in American actors. A cunning plan if I do say so myself! Despite all this though the film was somehow shot and completed successfully so onto the 'plot'.
Troll 2 of course revolves around the mystical creatures known as trolls. Well... actually no, no it doesn't. Throughout the whole 90 minutes the word troll is mentioned a grand total of zero times. The film Troll 2 is actually about goblins. Whilst on a house swapping holiday in the small village of Nilbog (a gold star for anyone who can spot why it's called this) a family- mum, Diana; dad, Michael; sister, Holly; Joshua; and the vision of Joshua's dead grandfather Grandpa Seth discovers the village is inhabited by goblins that plan to eat them. They are of course vegetarian goblin's though and so first need to turn them into vegetable people by feeding them poisoned food. You couldn't come up with this even if you tried and yet somehow Fragasso has managed it. To add to the fun, Holly's boyfriend Elliot tags along in his campervan with his three friends Arnold, Drew and Brent.
This poisoned food is worryingly green and looks like it's come out of a cows rear end, so of course the family gather round the table to eat it. But Joshua's Grandpa's ghost appears from nowhere to save the day by warning him that the food is bad as it's been made by the evil Goblins. So how does our Josh save the day? The only way he knows how, he gets up onto the table and pisses all over the food of course prompting one fantastic line from the dad.
The special effect is stunning and ranges from a lightning bolt effect to a lightning bolt effect and the goblins are terrifying showing off what must have at the time been the cutting edge in how to make costumes from things found in a dumpster and potato sacks. The music sets the scenes and is composed entirely from a keyboard synthesiser probably with a couple of keys missing. O and before I forget, the acting is appallingly atrocious.
The weirdest thing about this film is the continual ream of continuity fails and unexplained scenarios. For example, we see Nilbog milk but never find out why it's there, no one in the town drinks it, surely it would go off? We never learn about grandpa Seth's special powers- why is he helpless to stop the family from eating the food but can hack a goblin's hand off with an axe through a mirror or create a Molotov cocktail out of nothing to fling at the nearby Nilbog residents. (No I'm not making this up!) Why does the mum have such freaky bug-like eyes? What was the purpose of turning Arnold into a tree instead of just eating him? What is up with that random girl running through the forest? Why is Arnold unfazed when he first sees the goblins? Who the hell is Creedence? What happens to her face at the end of the movie and has she never heard of chapstick? How do 'the powers of goodness' eliminate the goblins?
The general store scene:
Best actor of all time (This is Arnold)!
Now I've only scratched the surface of this film with so much more to see including the best weapon ever used in the history of film. You will have to watch it to find out what it is but I'll give you a clue- it comes in paper bag and shares it's name with an Italian city and a former English Lord.
The scariest part of this movie is when you realise that not only is it hilarious to watch but it's addictive and at some point in the future you are going to put yourself through the ordeal that is Troll 2 again! I'm proud to announce that I survived Troll 2, even if a bit of me and my brain died with it.
Phew long post today but there was just so much to talk about!. Next up I review 13 Assassins [my review], a Japanese samurai assassin action movie. Check out the trailer below.
Farm
Are you fanatical about film? Then follow this site on Twitter @ FAbFilms
12A - 137mins - Action/Adventure/Fantasy - 18th May 2011
The swashbuckling pirates return in their latest adventure as Disney tries to cash in on older once successful ideas rather than conjure up some new material for our viewing pleasure. On Stranger Tides sees us return to a time after that of the first three films. No longer is the focus on Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan who aren't included in the cast (neither is the prison dog!!) and whose story is considered to be finished in the third instalment, At World's End. Instead the story follows Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) in his race to find the Fountain of Youth along with several other interested parties.
Jack is joined in this race by Barbossa- (Geoffrey Rush) now a profiteer working for the British Crown, Blackbeard- (Ian McShane) the most feared pirate on the seas along with his first mate Angelica (Penélope Cruz) and the Spanish armada who all want the power of the fountain for themselves. Throughout the quest they overcome challenges, encounter each other, run into mermaids and generally do as pirates do.
The movie gives out a bit of a 'same old same old' vibe with Jack elaborately escaping from captivity once again and fighting whilst balancing on wooden beams (distinctly familiar). It may have impressed in the first few films and despite being well executed is becoming decidedly stale as a concept in this one. I also felt that the inclusion of some sub-plots didn't add anything to the story (the priest/mermaid plot?) but rather detracted from it instead.
Despite this, those who are fans of Captain Jack Sparrow will not be disappointed as it certainly is better than the second and third instalments. Despite this one running it closer, it's a shame that they've never lived up to the original all the while being impervious to becoming box office flops.
The acting was mostly very good with Depp obviously returning to steal the show with his eccentric Sparrow creation but Rush, McShane and even Cruz put in their fair share to make the story believable. Both the set and clothing design departments show off their talents with impressive visuals to lap up and Zimmer's score does just enough to keep the movie flowing forward.
Overall this will keep you entertained with some good action scenes, comedy and a couple of strong performances but I'm still waiting for the series to return back to the heights of the first film which I don't think it ever will. There is guaranteed to be a fifth film (with or without Depp) but I feel that this should finally be laid to Davy Jones' locker while it can still escape with some credibility. Savvy?
15 - 103mins - Fantasy/Horror/Thriller - 29th April 2011
Now if there is one thing that freaks me out most in movies it is horrors that involve children in any way. So when I sat down to watch a movie from the guys and gals that have given us Paranormal Activity revolving around the story of a possessed child, well lets just say I had my diaper at the ready!
Insidious follows a textbook family, the parents- Josh (Patrick Wilson) and Renai (Rose Byrne) that have it all as they move into their new suburban house with their 3 beautiful children. However all is not as it seems as one of their sons, Dalton (Ty Simpkins), after slipping off a ladder while exploring in the attic falls into a coma. Strange things then begin to happen as objects move, mysterious voices are heard and you catch things in the corner of your eye. After this activity drives them from their new home they enlist the help of a paranormal psychic Elise (Lin Shaye) and the horrifying truth becomes evident. It is not the house but Dalton that is haunted!
As with most horror movies, I find they only tend to scare me until I know what I'm up against ie. keep the monster hidden and let the suspense/not knowing get me grabbing for my cushion. This movie was similar in that respect with the majority of the scares coming in the first two thirds before it began to fall away slightly. This was more than enough though and will give you the jumps that you are looking for if you decide to go and see it.
Considering what the trailer gives us, I was quite surprised that it took so long to get to the realisation that it was in fact the boy that was possessed rather than where they were living. It is a good 50 minutes to an hour before this is realised which irked me somewhat.
The inclusion of the two bickering paranormal activity assistants was a well thought out idea as it gave a break from trying to scare you, injecting a bit of comedy into the fray and enabled the audience to be lulled into a more relaxed state so that when the next scare came you were off guard and less than ready for it.
Apart from the scary evil entities, horrors are made or broken by the music or lack thereof that accompanies the suspense and the cinematography. Insidious does not disappoint. The music leads to the creation of an intense tension that stays with you throughout most of the movie and lingers after it finishes and the cinematography is also top notch.
Insidious does serve up moments of actual horror that had me keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary several hours after the film had finished. It is a far cry from James Wan (director) and Leigh Whannell (writer) other collaborations of the Saw series and despite using a tried and tested framework, they made the movie original. It will probably be one of the better horror movies that's released this year but then again, I doubt there will be much competition.
15 - 102mins - Adventure/Comedy/Fantasy - 13th April 2011
Now let me see if I can think of some appropriate words that would aptly sum up this movie (apart from 'it's a comedy') to those who know nothing about it... lude, rude, a bit of nude and most definitely crude! And yet there is something about it that will keep you watching right until the very end.
Brought to us by the guys behind Pineapple Express, Your Highness follows two brothers Thadeous (Danny McBride) and Fabious (James Franco) with their trusty man slave Courtney on a quest to save the recently rescued princess (Zooey Deschanel) who has been re-kidnapped by the evil warlock Leezar (Justin Theroux). Yup there are quite a lot of famous faces in this aren't there but that's not always the sign of a good movie.
McBride makes the character his own as a fumbling stoner of a man who would rather be at home in the castle than out questing with his much loved brother- something that makes him rather jealous. It was also good to see Natalie Portman (think I could just stop that sentence now... but I won't) in a different light as a comic actress where she put in an impressive performance as well.
I got the feeling that this movie may have been written by some 14 year old boys, not because the script was poor but just that the content was rather vulgar and filled with just a few (hundred) testosterone induced sexual references. Quite ironic really considering its ideal viewer, the 14 year old testosterone induced male teenager cannot even watch it due to the 15 rating. Oops! But it was not all about the ,ahem, clever and subtly worded jokes because the gore and blood also took centre stage during several parts of the movie. Impressive it was too with a good fight scene involving a 5 headed monster.
I really must emphasise the 'cringeworthyness' at some of the scenes and things that were being said where a cushion to hide behind to shield you from it may have been warranted. In the same respects though this is more of less what I expected from this movie that also gave me many laughs from beginning to end. It even reminded me in parts of Lord Of The Rings with the panoramic shots over the hills accompanied by dramatic music and similar characters, if you have a bit of an imagination that is.
I think you have to be in a certain frame of mind/have a certain kind of mind to fully appreciate this movie and luckily for me I was/do. It gets you laughing, cringing and there is a decent story in there well backed up with good CGI and music. It's better than it's directors predecessor, Pineapple Express but probably not one for those who are easily offended.
Next up I take a look at Into The Wild [my review] the true story of a man who gave his entire savings to charity and left behind his family to go and live in Alaska.
Farm
Are you fanatical about film? Then follow this site on Twitter @ FAbFilms
TBC - 100mins - Fantasy/Horror/Mystery - 15th April 2011
I am somewhat disappointed this year by the lack of original content being released with so many new movies being either sequels, comic book characters or as is the case for Red Riding Hood rehashing a concept and putting it on the big screen. Only Cowboys And Aliens (directed by Jon Favreau- Iron Man 1 & 2) and perhaps the highly advertised and hyped Super 8 (J.J.Abrams) look like they are going to give us something new to think about this year and that's a real shame.
This Red Riding Hood is based loosely on the original fable with parallels able to be drawn from it. We have a girl wearing red, a grandmother who lives in the woods and of course a wolf. The girl, Valerie, (Amanda Seyfried) lives in a small village in the mountains that is cursed by the presence of a werewolf. There has long been an understanding between the villagers and the wolf whereby they leave out their best livestock every full moon and in return the wolf does not harm them. However on this particular full moon a girl is found dead and the villagers seek revenge.
A reputable priest (Gary Oldman) who has slain werewolfs before for other villages is called in to try and rid them of their curse. He is ruthless and will stop at nothing to see daemons rid from the Earth. While these events are unfolding there is also a love triangle developing with Valerie. She is engaged to be married to a reputable man (Max Irons) but longs for the tradesman woodcutter (Shiloh Fernandez) who she often goes to visit in the woods.
I wouldn't necessarily class this as an out and out horror, I suppose it can have its moments but apart from some suspense and shadows there isn't a lot to get you jumping out of your boots. If you liked the Twilight saga on screen then I can see you liking this as well with Catherine Hardwicke giving this production a similar feel to that of her previous work. She has also, like Twilight picked relative unknowns to act the main roles- Oldman aside and I'm sure they will be popping up again and again over the next few years.
The most impressive thing about this movie is the set and backgrounds which are beautifully designed, especially the thorny trees that surround the village and 'grandmother's house'. Unfortunately that is the only thing I can think of at the moment that would make me want to see any part of this movie again and that's not enough.
It also becomes quite predictable and despite keeping me thinking for a short while, it's increasingly obvious who the werewolf is by the end.
So in conclusion, I found this to be another below par movie that doesn't offer up any real surprises or intrigue. I would not recommend going out and paying for this and even when it hits the TV's it will not be hard to find something better on.
So from a soon to be released 'blockbuster' to a movie that has most likely slipped under your radar when it was released in December of last year. I give you Catfish [my review]...
Farm
Are you fanatical about film? Then follow this site on Twitter @ FAbFilms
12A - 110mins - Action/Adventure/Fantasy - 1st April 2011
Sucker Punch intrigued me before its release due to the seemingly random storyline and what looked like impressive graphics. So I sat down to watch it wondering whether I was going to enjoy the story it has to tell or be confused by it. Unfortunately it was the latter. Now I try and find both positives and negatives in everything I review but graphics aside (which were very enjoyable to watch and engaging) I struggled to for Sucker Punch.
Sucker Punch revolves around Baby Doll (Emily Browning) who is imprisoned in a mental asylum by her wicked and abusive stepfather so that he can lay claim to an inheritance meant for her and her sister. Whilst in the asylum she retreats to a fantasy world of a brother and then further again (Inception-esque) through the medium of dance while her attractive and scantily clad new found friends assist her in her quest to break out of the asylum/brothel and gain freedom. Still with me? Good.
It is quite obvious that this movie comes from the same director (Zach Snyder) that brought us 300 as the return of the super slo-mo fight scenes have arrived in abundance as they did in 300. I have to say they work well in the action scenes in the fantasy world but are also used when no action is taking place... the film could cut 10 minutes from its 110 by just running those parts at normal speed with no real loss.
Now I'm not sure whether I just completely missed the point of this movie or not but I don't want to have to watch it for a second time to find out. Usually I would warn of spoilers but there can't really be any when there is no plot in the first place and the scenes are so random and disjointed that nothing really makes sense. I got the logic behind the desperation of Baby Doll needing to escape her reality as a way of coping but come on she can only do this through dance? And when she is dancing this puts every man in the real world into some sort of a trance?
So on the positive side then the graphics do drag this movie upwards in the ratings with the overall CGI action being very impressive covering a plethora of locations and situations. Even so the graphics did not really add much to the story. Don't get me wrong they were great and I enjoyed the scenes but I got the feeling that Snyder just put them in because he could when he should have perhaps been concentrating slightly more on developing the characters and making us care about them.
Finally my last gripe with this movie is that you never think that the girls are in any danger during the fight scenes and so even if you did end up caring whether they die of not, they don't look like they are ever going to making the slo-mo bullets and swords kind of pointless.
Bonus marks for people who can work out it this is going to get a good rating or not. Despite impressing with graphics, the plot and acting are poor, you never invest in the characters well-being and the graphics seem to be surplus to the movie anyway. If the graphics were the punch then the rest of the movie was definitely the suck.
Next time to make up for Sucker Punch I shall bring something completely different to the table in the form of Rubber [my review]. The story of a tyre with telekinetic powers that goes on a rampage through the desert. Check out the trailer below before you write it off!
Farm
Are you fanatical about film? Then follow this site on Twitter @ FAbFilms
15 - 116mins - Drama/Fantasy/Horror - 5th November 2010
Let Me In is a remake of the successful Swedish horror Let The Right One In [2008] and despite not having seen this I am led to believe sticks to the storyline extremely closely. This is not what I would call your typical vampire movie with the vampire taking shape in the form of a 12 year old girl Abby (Chloe Moretz) and not a wooden stake to be seen. If anything it is more of an emotional love story.
We start, as is the growing trend these days at some unspecified point in the future with a man being rushed to hospital finding out along the way that he is the prime suspect in several murders occurring around the sleepy backwater town of Los Alamos, New Mexico. Whilst is left alone in his hospital room he jumps from the window to his death.
Rewind two weeks where we are introduced to Owen (Kodi Smit-McPhee) a boy who is bullied at school by three of his peers and whose parents are currently going through a divorce leaving him somewhat of an introvert and lacking confidence. The director is clever in that the father is never seen and the mother is only in scenes briefly so we do not get to know her which means we really only get to know Owen and hence share his loneliness. With the arrival of Abby and her father though, he finds happiness in her company and the pair create a friendship that Mortez and Smit-McPhee act out excellently.
Alongside this growing friendship is the more sinister hunt for fresh blood which leads to the disappearance of some locals and the police search that ensues. Where many vampire movies head down the vicious mass murdering group who go around killing for fun this paints the picture of a much more calculated sect who kill to survive and are aware that many killings will lead to too many questions being asked and them eventually being found. It is a means to survive nothing else.
There were some well crafted pieces of cinematography with one scene in particular involving a car crash making up for the poor use of CGI and special effects (that were thankfully infrequent) which would be more in line with a lower budget production.
The background and history of Abby and her father is kept vague for most of the movie which invites the viewer to create their own past for them, suffice to say that we are assume they have been around a long time. This leads to an interesting question that wasn't really answered- if Abby had been around a long time trapped in a 12 year old body surely her mind would have grown up? Yes there is a sense of maturity surrounding her but at the same time she never really shakes off that sense of still actually being an innocent kid. Perhaps this was intentional and shows the innocence of youth prevailing over the evil within. Either way Mortez is fantastic at depicting her character showing us that she has a very bright future in the industry.
When I sat down to watch Let Me In I was not expecting what was served up before me. Luckily though it was a pleasant surprise as the movie gets you hooked at the start and thanks to the great on screen chemistry between Mortez and Smit-McPhee keeps you engaged right up until the credits start rolling. Definitely worth a watch.
